Blog of a footballer's mother

Black eyes in 2010

2010-08-23T15:31:00.000-07:00

Well after four years in the AFL and 26 AFL games with two different clubs, "Jeremy" was delisted and returned to play at his junior club this year. The football season has just ended for this club with a loss in the preliminary final.

While it has been an enjoyable year for him, not having the pressure of playing at the elite level and playing with childhood mates, it has also been difficult. He has had more black eyes in this one season than ever before. He has definitely had a huge target on his back because of his status as an AFL player. I was niave to think there would be more goodwill than there appears to be.

He has never been a player who retaliates at all. So despite receiving numerous whacks behind play or sneakily while in play, he just gets on with the game. Not even trying to even it up with the offender later in the game or even afterwards. He has integrity.

The final was no different, and another older ex-AFL player punched him in the face after play. So the ball had gone, and without any provocation from Jeremy, out of nowhere this old dude punches him, then shortly afterwards another team member of Jeremy's. Jeremy did turn around and push his shoulders and say afew words to him. But that was the extent of his reaction.

I have been disappointed watching the standard of play after so many years watching Jeremy playing at a higher level of teamwork. And the umpiring is poor too. I know not many people want to umpire these games and so they take what they can get. But I just wish there was a better duty of care towards people. As the mother of a footballer I hate seeing people punched in the head. I hate seeing Jeremy with black eyes. I'd hate to see Jeremy inflict that injury on others. He doesn't do it and has never needed to. The game is far superior without it I think.

His AFL mates often come along to watch him play in local footy which is a real credit to the bonds he continues to build easily with others.

Offers have come for him to play elsewhere next season, but he is at a point where he wants to settle a little I think. He has a job he loves and football no longer dominates his existence. He has had so many fantastic experiences playing at the elite level of AFL football that he would never have had otherwise.

And for an update about Jeremy's brother Mathew - who was mentioned back in post number 17 Bros - he has finally completed his Bachelor of Engineering with honours and has found a job in the Engineering industry. Our daughter is married and when not working as a teacher's aide she writes. So for John and I our parenting duties are finished - sad to say.

2009 update

2009-08-01T04:02:00.000-07:00

At the end of the season last year (2008) Jeremy was delisted from the team he'd been with for three years. He returned to his home state and trained with another AFL club hoping to get put on their list. He was lucky to get selected again and so began his new football life in his home state. He has made the transition easily and continues to make great friendships wherever her goes.

He has now played 26 AFL games and is still very much a fringe player. He has had to learn to live with the constant battle of not knowing if he is in the main team or not. Last week he was. This week he's not. Despite that he works hard and carries on with the team.

At present he continues to live the charmed life of a professional elite footballer and lives the dream of so many. So in that regard he is lucky. He also continues to fly under the radar and avoid the celebrity status that many of the champions of the game endure.

20. Home coming

2006-09-15T16:07:00.000-07:00

Jeremy went to watch finals for the local football league at the ground where he played his junior football. Lots of locals were there. Later that day he phoned me to pick him up as he quietly slipped away without a word to anyone. He had had enough. He had avoided the crowded parts of the ground because he said everyone wanted to shake his hand and talk to him. He signed a few autographs. He did take the time to talk at length to the guy who was his junior coach.

His mates still treat him the same way as before and Jeremy is still comfortable in their company which is great to see. Still very much a humble guy he has no desire to big-note himself at all, even if it means getting into the ground free of charge.
Too many questions bore him silly. He has always been a doer and this is perhaps the secret of many footballers. They just love to get out there and do their stuff, which is play football. But don’t expect him to talk about it.

It is nice to have him at home again even if it is for just a little while.

This is the last entry for this blog. It has followed Jeremy’s quest towards becoming an AFL player. It has been a difficult road without surety of success. He has been fortunate to have made it this far, and far quicker than we had anticipated. At present the future looks great for Jeremy, but it is a fickle business, without security, and more difficult than others in that every move is scrutinised by everyone from their own executive and coaching staff, to the public and media.

How do I finish this story with some words of wisdom? I guess the tragic deaths this week of two great Australians - Steve Irwin and Peter Brock – remind us all to live our lives to the fullest and do the things we love to do. There were two men who truly went at high gear in pursuit of their loves and dreams, and remembered all the people around them as they did it. They both displayed such generosity of spirit to everyone they met, by all accounts of the people who knew them. If we all can try to accomplish a tenth of what they have achieved and do it with the same enthusiasm, kindness and sincerity then the world will be a better place.

19. Mild Monday

2006-09-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

After the second phone call I turned my phone off. Jeremy had phoned me and proceeded to pass the phone around the group, everyone getting to say a word or two to Jeremy's mum. One high profile player telling me enthusiastically, "I love your son! He's my new main man." And although it was nice to be included in their "Mad Monday" antics it was a difficult conversation to sustain.

John and I went to a local pub to watch the last game on pay TV. The last game of the season saw them defeated by the team I think will win the flag this year. Every pass of the ball was contested. The other team was just too good for them. Jeremy kicked a great goal from about 60 metres out, and another snap went through for a behind. His stats were quite good considering how well the other team played.

Jeremy has been offered a two year contract and he is thrilled to stay on and play for this team. We are happy too and look forward to more interstate trips next year. Hopefully we will get to see him play in our home state.

Tonight he arrives home and will stay for a little while until his pre-season training demands his return. It will be nice to have him around again.

18. Welcome to the Machine

2006-08-29T23:05:00.000-07:00

The huge room was filled with hundreds of people sitting at round tables eating, drinking and talking. We were late for this President’s lunch at the stadium. As we sat in our seats our glasses were filled and we were served salmon frittata for an entrée. Giant screens named the many sponsors who filled this room. I looked up and saw the AFL boss preparing for his little talk to this audience. We introduced ourselves to our table mates to find we were amongst an extremely diverse bunch. A football guernsey was auctioned, a player from Jeremy’s team gave a little talk, the main course was hurriedly scoffed as everyone made haste to get to their seats in the stadium to watch The Game. This was the second last match of the season; the showdown round. We traveled interstate to watch this much anticipated clash of rivals.

Earlier in the day we had attended a breakfast at the Clubs function rooms. It was a beautifully prepared breakfast provided by the club for the host families and associated players parents. The facilitator for the day is a wonderful man who remembers everyone’s names without trouble and introduces everyone to each other.

Jeremy, John and I have been well and truly welcomed to the immense machine that is an AFL football club. We have been greeted by The Coach, the President, The CEO, the Team Manager, the off-field Player Development Manager, the on-field Player Development Manager, fitness coaches, the forwards coach, the media liaison person, the events manager, ex-players associated with the club, current star players, new players, host families, and other parents.

These people without exception have been positive, welcoming, hospitable, friendly, enthusiastic and energetic. They form the huge machine that drives an AFL football club. Jeremy is well and truly part of that machine now. They know him, love him and claim him.

The game was a success and a treat to watch. Jeremy did his bit to contribute positively to the victorious win to upset the favourites. He took a few marks, kicked a goal, and I counted three precise goal assists that resulted in a goal.

After the game the jubilant players ran around the boundary hand slapping the spectators and fans. Jeremy told me later that he felt weird at first doing that but joined in the frivolity because all the other players were doing it.

We went into the change rooms, but were too late to hear them sing their song. Jeremy was pedaling on a stationary bike with a smile from ear to ear.

Then we went back to the clubs function room where hundreds of loyal fans had crowded to welcome and congratulate the team. The Coach gave a short talk. The players arrived one by one and the crowd applauded. We stood in a separate area with the club officials, and friends and family of players. The Club President greeted us warmly, remembering our faces and names after meeting us only once before. We met more people that are a part of this machine.

I wonder where these people get their energy, passion, and drive to do all this week after week. We bid our farewells to Jeremy, feeling glad that he is so well thought of, and cared for. But also sad with the realisation that he is now part of the machine.

17. Bro's

2006-08-22T15:55:00.000-07:00

The young man’s face fills the screen. All eyes are focused on him as the zoom lens magnifies his features to abnormal proportions. His concentration is obvious. He is totally focused on his task. He makes his move. The spectators hold their collective breath in anticipation. All eyes move to see the result as he writes the number down at the bottom of this difficult mathematical equation….

Hey! Is this not what you were expecting me to say? Was the answer right or wrong? What was the question? Who can say? Perhaps this is why solving engineering equations is not a spectator sport and football is.

Jeremy’s brother (let’s call him Mathew) is eighteen months older and studying Engineering at University. He was watching Jeremy play his second AFL game on multiple huge television screens in an inner city sports bar with some friends, as Jeremy lined up for a set shot at goals. One can only wonder at the mixed emotions Mathew must feel when he sees his little brothers face enlarged to such huge size on television. There must be pride, but also annoyance that is typical in sibling relationships.

When they were little boys Mathew would always be coming up with ideas and Jeremy would be his reliable and trusting crash test dummy. Now as young adults Mathew is still thinking and coming up with bright ideas and Jeremy is still putting his body on the line.

As parents John and I tried to spend our time and resources with our three children equally. But any parent of a child involved in a high level of sport (or perhaps another demanding activity) will confess to committing far more time, energy and focus on this one child and at the expense of the others. It is a hard call. If the child does not get this necessary parental support the steady improvement and development in their chosen activity will not have the chance to flourish. If there sounds like a little guilt within these words then that is because there is to some extent.

Mathew has always been independent and self-sufficient. His intellectual pursuits required solitary focus for development. Maths is neither a team sport nor a spectator sport. He did play various sports and excelled in athletics but these activities were a secondary priority for him.

When our daughter was young we took her to netball, swimming and dancing. For many years we attended her dance concerts. These activities going by the wayside to make room for her main activity which is a love of writing. Another solitary pursuit.

Jeremy has dominated our time and energy over the last decade as his football commitments required more and more time at venues that were increasingly further afield. Now we plan our weekends around trips interstate to watch him play football at this highest level.

Jeremy started on the ground for his second AFL game. He performed in a steady, strong and reliable manner. He looked as big and as strong as some of the champions he was up against. He lined up for a set shot at goal from the 50 metre line and unfortunately missed, but at least he had a try at it. The commentators said positive things about him. His team was unlucky to lose as the opposition stole the lead in the dying seconds of this close contest.

John and I will travel to see him play next weekend whether he plays for his AFL team or his other designated team. At this point in the season many teams have lots of players out with injuries and for this reason alone it is likely Jeremy will get his third chance to play with the big boys.

16. AFL debut

2006-08-17T15:22:00.000-07:00

The halogen lights illuminated the grass making it appear greener as the sky changed from pale blue to lavender, then pale pink, brilliant magenta, violet, then to deep velvety purple.

Our seats in the grand stand provide us with a perfect vantage point to witness this AFL match – our sons AFL debut. We have traveled from cold winter chills down south to warm tropical heat for this momentous occasion.

Earlier in the day we spoke to Jeremy. He seemed calm enough but had gone to the cinema to distract his mind from the match. He told us that the best advice he had received prior to this game was from one of this former under 18 team mates who sent him the text message, “The grass is the same colour and the ball is the same shape.”

Finally the team runs out onto the ground through the banner with Jeremy amongst them. We know he will be starting on the bench, so there is still time for nervous energy to accumulate some more. In this heat the bench will no doubt be rotated continually.

His team begins well scoring the first couple of goals. Then he is on. I see his first footfall onto AFL turf. He is in the forward line – in familiar territory. He has the jitters and fumbles his first touches. He gets the ball, has a bounce and gets caught from behind, just getting the ball off to a team mate in time.

He starts on the bench again for the second quarter. When he does come onto the ground he goes to the back line, but is soon moved forward after some indecisive moves.

There is a scramble in their goal square. Jeremy gets the ball and snaps it onto his left foot, kicking the ball over his shoulder and through for a goal! He celebrated with a cool relieved response – no jumping around or hand gestures.

After this his play is more settled. He has two fantastic tackles that stop the opposition effectively. A photo of one tackle making the major newspapers the next day.

The game is agonisingly close with the lead see-sawing a point either way.

In the final quarter Jeremy leads out from the goals, marks the ball well at about 45 metres out on an angle. He quickly runs around his opponent to pass across to a team mate who misses and the ball is knocked out of bounds near the goals. It was too close and too near to the end of the game for Jeremy to line up for a difficult set shot, despite the cries from the people in the grand-stand to “Kick a goal!”

His team ends up winning by a couple of goals and they are jubilant as the underdogs. The crowd goes wild as the team song plays. It is great for Jeremy to experience a win for his first game of AFL footy, and even more satisfying for him knowing that he made his contribution to the score.

The team stretches, photos are taken, text messages arrive thick and fast from family and friends, and strangers in the crowd shake our hands and wish our son well.

We are invited to go with the team on the bus to the after-match function at a local supporters club. The view from the bus is a real eye-opener as real fans flock about for a close-up glimpse of their super stars.

We meet some of the team support staff and have a few words with The Coach. Everyone seems happy with Jeremy’s first effort as an AFL player. We stay only a short while and soon leave for our red-eye special southwards. The team will stay overnight, have a sleep, maybe a swim, and then return to their home state.

Jeremy will front the media for the first time on Monday but I doubt it will be shown on the television stations in our home state.

It occurs to me that although the risks are high for players competing in sport at this elite level, the rewards are just as great. They love what they do. The challenges met, reap a sense of satisfaction beyond the norm of everyday lives. It can be the best fun, especially when the outcome is a win. And if they are good enough (and lucky enough) they get to do it all again next week.

15. Milestones

2006-08-08T15:48:00.000-07:00

Every day is a milestone when you think philosophically. Life can be a celebration of tiny little victories and occurrences.

This weekend Chris Grant reached a significant AFL milestone by attaining the record for the most number of games played by anyone for the Western Bulldogs (Footscray). An undeniable championship milestone. The club made an appropriate fuss that motivated the team to a win.

My father (Jeremy’s grandfather) turned 70 years of age. Another significant milestone and one we celebrated in Jeremy’s absence. The rest of the family and close friends gathered at my parents home to mark the occasion. Jeremy phoned to send his best wishes.

Meanwhile Jeremy’s AFL team played. We had thought we may have been faced with a clash of major milestones; my Dad’s 70th birthday party and Jeremy’s AFL debut. Luckily (or unluckily) that did not happen. There would have been no other choice for John and I – we would have gone along to see Jeremy play football. As John said, “There are Milestones and there are milestones.”

Jeremy had received a lot of attention from the media in his home away from home over the past three weeks. His face had been seen on TV and in the major newspapers with speculation that his time had come. So there was a chance but it was not to be this week. The media can speculate as much as they want, but ultimately they are not the ones to pick the team and are not privy to the pros and cons for any given week. Jeremy is told to be ready but there is no feedback to him about why he doesn’t get chosen. So he just has to keep doing what he’s doing. The possibility remains strong that his AFL debut may happen in one of these last four matches for this season. We are keeping our fingers crossed.

He played in the firsts of his designated team. This team was beaten by a huge margin. Jeremy did what he could from the forward line despite the fact that most of the play was at the other end of the ground. He was named as one of the top four players.

14. Crunch time

2006-08-01T16:07:00.000-07:00

It’s crunch time! Teams jostle for finals positions. Numerous injuries sideline important players. Coaches struggle to outsmart opponents with on-field tactics. The media take desperate measures to get that unique story line. New players get their first games. All players try to cement their places for the next season. This is the defining point in the AFL season.

A couple of the young men from Jeremy’s under 18 team have recently had their first games. Jeremy shares the joy in their success and phones them to tell them so.

We had thought that Jeremy may have been chosen to play this last weekend. He was invited to attend all the relevant meetings. His name was suggested. We were ready to take off interstate at the last moment. Alas it was not to be. Maybe next week?

This time of year clubs know if they are in finals contention. Clubs begin to assess the team performances and try to work out their needs for the future. New players are put to the test to see if they have what it takes. Many players have their seasons put to a premature end due to serious injury. Trade of players, impending retirements, delisting, and draft choices are all bandied around by media speculation. It is an edgy time for everyone in the game.

Jeremy’s designated team had a week off this last weekend so this meant another week on the sidelines for Jeremy who is in-form, injury free, and raring to go. He had to do some training to keep up his match fitness. Jeremy was tempted to come home for a visit, but instead went along to watch and support his AFL team.

Crunch time for Jeremy means he may just be selected to play his first AFL game in the next week or so. Otherwise he will have to wait until next year hoping his chance will be kept alive by his club choosing to keep him around for another year.

13. Sock it to ‘em

2006-07-25T17:26:00.000-07:00

The AFL really needs to update its thinking. Their ridiculous notion of fining players for wearing their socks down is archaic.

Long socks remind me of creepy old uncles wearing knee socks with Bermuda shorts and sandals.

If the AFL are flexible enough to introduce alternative jumper designs then why not offer players alternative socks in club colours – long and short versions.

Think what this would do for their sock sales. All budding footballers and supporters would want a pair of each – long and short.

I am sure many female spectators prefer to see a long lean athletic leg with sculpted calves than daggy old knee-highs.

From a more serious viewpoint, the AFL should give proper consideration to the actual functionality of the sock in terms of sports performance. Soccer players only wear long socks to contain their shin guards. Many AFL players get so over-heated during matches that long socks only serve to aggravate their body heat and ultimately diminish their performance. Can’t the AFL see that? So many players intentionally wear their socks down already. There may just be a real and valid reason for this choice.

The AFL needs to stop being such a mob of fascists and give the players some personal choice. Australia is still a democracy that allows individual freedom.

Jeremy is a “sock-down” player. In the years leading up towards the draft he was often told by coaches, recruiters and others to pull his socks up. And that was what they meant. They said there is a perception that players look faster when their socks are up, and it would help him to appear faster on the ground. Hmmm! Don't they look at their own test results? Jeremy exercised his aussie right to free choice and continued to play with them around his ankles.

This last weekend Jeremy finally made a spot in the firsts of his designated team and on the ground. The team lost by about 20 goals. Jeremy said he played well enough and later reported that he was awarded the Best on Ground award. I hope this is enough to grant him a game in the big league in the next few weeks. It would be great for him to get a taste of what it is like to play at the top level. He would just be happy to play with a group of players that can actually play well enough together to put up a bit of a contest.

12. Living in the 70’s

2006-07-18T15:48:00.000-07:00

Remember Skyhooks? That Melbourne based band with a string of hits in the 1970’s. I was a teenager throughout the seventies. It was a crazy time for music, fashion, teenagers and football. Remember sharpie haircuts, baggy high-waisted denim jeans and ridiculous platform shoes? I recall going along to see bands like Skyhooks, Cold Chisel, ACDC and Men at Work play locally.

I wasn’t into football then but I do remember how rough it was. I saw replayed footage of all-in-brawls, behind the play punching sessions, and square-ups carried over from previous incidents. This unethical and stupid play has been effectively written out of the game and that is a great thing despite the cries of “Bring back the biff!” from the yobbos.

It is a contact sport full of adrenalin, passion and aggression so it is inevitable that fights do still occur. It might be in the heat of the moment and instantly regretted by the offending player. It may be an innocent misjudged and ill-timed collision. The players cop the fines and the suspensions as they are dealt by the AFL tribunal.

It amazes me though when players try to sneak in a little jab to unsettle an opponent, thinking they won’t be caught. Don’t they watch TV? Do they really think they won’t be seen by one of the dozens of cameras around the field?

This week several players were sent to the AFL tribunal for rough play. The incident that received the most controversy was the low blow by West Coast’s Daniel Kerr to Hawthorn’s Sam Mitchell. The blow made contact with Mitchell’s groin causing him to drop to the ground in agony. Kerr says in his defense that he was aiming for Mitchell’s upper quad to try to aggravate a previous injury. Does that make the offence any better? The AFL tribunal thought so and lessened his sentence. To the spectators it just appeared to be a dirty low blow that is really not the done thing in aussie rules footy.

Jeremy did get a place in the firsts this week but he was disappointed to spend a great deal of the game seated on the bench. Consequently his stats were down and make a bad statement on the website in comparison to other players. His time on the field was productive and so he finds it frustrating and confusing to not know exactly why he is being benched by this coach.

It is not getting any easier for John and I. We hate not being able to see Jeremy play football. We have only seen him play once this season. We are planning our next trip and hopefully this time we will indeed get to see him play.

11. The big picture

2006-07-11T15:27:00.000-07:00

It is obviously an extremely difficult job being a football coach. I remind you of the last question I posed in the Pop Quiz – “8. How does a club manufacture a really successful team of champions capable of winning a premiership?”

No doubt that is the main aim of all coaches. How do they achieve this? Coaches are human after all, subject to likes and dislikes and capable of misjudgment and errors.

Consider that one coach has the job of trying to mold 35 or so players, on an individual basis, and as a group. Personalities factor heavily in this task. How do the players gel as a group? How does any particular coach get on with each individual player? Consider also that these are adult men each with their own ideas, agendas, and personalities. You can’t underestimate these factors when trying to figure out whether a team will be successful or not.

No doubt the coach sees a bigger picture than most of the players. He may be working towards a goal that is five years away whilst the players are focused on their next game.

What do you think is going through the mind of legendary coach Kevin Sheedy at the moment? Do you think he is trying to win each game as bottom dwellers? They can’t make the finals this year. Or is he trying to remain at the bottom of the ladder so he can get priority draft picks for 2007? Maybe his head is planning for a future flag. But what does this do for the pride of the present playing group? Are they happy to go out and not try to win? I would think not.

If a team wins a premiership who can claim responsibility? The master coach? The special mix of the playing group? Or a unique combination of players, coach and other staff? A combination that could not possibly be manufactured.

So what does the great KS say to his players? It would be nice to know. Maybe he says nothing? Is he above explanations to his pawns? Is he off with the pixies? We can only guess. I use KS here as an example only because his team is currently sitting firmly on the bottom of the AFL ladder. This kind of surmising can be applied to all of the coaches of the AFL clubs as well as the lower ranks such as VFL, QAFL, SANFL, WAFL, etc, etc.

This week Jeremy has been dropped to the reserves of his designated team. He is at a loss to know why. No one has bothered to explain anything to him; least of all the coach. He doesn’t know if he has done anything wrong. This team is situated firmly near the bottom of their ladder, so maybe this coach is already planning for 2007. Who knows?

Jeremy has his feathers ruffled a little and that is not an easy thing to do. I suppose he can’t afford to have a complacent attitude. Maybe he needs a little bit of fire to get him angry and motivated on the field. It won’t do him any harm in this respect. But it does little to foster a good working relationship with his coach.

After the game we speak to Jeremy on the phone and he says his reserves team won by six goals. He played in the mid field changing into the forward. He didn’t kick any goals but passed in to players who did score. He took some nice marks and had a decent number of possessions. Meanwhile the firsts lost by a huge margin. Later when I check the website I am pleased to see Jeremy was voted the Best On Ground for his match.

10. Tall poppy syndrome

2006-07-04T15:48:00.000-07:00

This is the story we heard: A close mate of Jeremy’s was drafted to an AFL team this year. He was home visiting for the weekend and hanging out with his old school mates in the place where he had lived all of his life. They decided to go to a local party. On arriving there they were surprised to see so many people and very few that they actually knew. Someone pointed out that this mate of Jeremy’s was so-and-so from such-an-such AFL team. Some of the young blokes obviously took some kind of offence at this and started to get in his face, giving him grief verbally. He turned to walk away and was confronted with another mate on the ground being beaten up by some of these teenagers. He ran over to pull off the offender and was hit across the head with a bottle. He later received stitches to his head and has a fractured skull.

Jeremy was not there fortunately but it could just as easily have happened to him. It is fortunate that he is in another State. His new mates are all AFL footballers and they move in their own tight knit circles. This provides some kind of protection against this type of unstable attitude and behaviour by some people in our community. It really does make you wonder what gets into their heads that drives them to make these unprovoked attacks.

Australian mateship is not what it used to be in the old days, sad to say. There are now so many new boundaries that separate groups into gangs or tribes. There is nationality, fame envy, or is that “tall poppy syndrome”? Economic inequality is another divisive factor. How do these young people know who to trust?

This unfortunate incident highlights the facts that AFL footballers, and probably many other sportspeople and celebrities, have to be extremely careful when they go out. These young footballers who are new to this scene are often unaware of the stir they can cause simply by being in a certain place, especially in the public eye. Afterall there is nothing different about them. They have come from ordinary Australian backgrounds (most of them). They are just kids out of high school. Most of them don’t think they are any better than anybody else.

Jeremy played this weekend. His team was beaten by 15 goals. John and I drove up a local hill to see if the radio reception was better from a higher vantage point, but we could not hear the broadcast. We tried to listen over the internet but again the reception was intermittent and we could only hear every second word being said by the commentators. We gave up and phoned Jeremy after the game to see how he went. He said that his first half was good. He spent the third quarter on the bench and they put him in the back line for the last quarter, where he stood beside an opponent who was staying clear of the ball to allow the opposition’s major goal kicker to score time and time again.

We glimpsed Jeremy’s face on TV during the news last night. He was running with his AFL team obviously during their rehabilitation session. He needs a hair cut thinks his mother.

9. The Socceroos beat the AFL

2006-06-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

Watching The Socceroos play against Croatia the other morning was thrilling. And those are strong words coming from someone who is definitely not a soccer fan. I was caught up by the sight of the multitudes of people wearing either green and gold, or red and white check. This raging mass immersed in the excitement and emotion of this important game were sometimes literally jumping for joy, at other times sitting in stunned silence, or crying tears of genuine disappointment.

The players contested the game with a unique combination of aggression and friendliness. It was full on with many yellow cards and some red cards issued throughout the course of the game. And yet quite often the opposing players were helping one another up from the ground. It is a pleasure to see this kind of sportsmanship, especially when so much is at stake – The World Cup, national pride, and millions of dollars.

It was a draw but this means that Australia goes through to the next round whilst Croatia is out of the competition. This result is the best any Australian soccer team has ever achieved.

I still prefer aussie rules football. To me no other football game has that pure total body physical contest. They aren’t allowed to use their arms in soccer, so there goes any concept of total body contest. One can’t deny that soccer is a skillful game and obviously the most popular football code in the world. But I still think aussie rules is the better game.

From a footballers mothers point of view though I can see the attraction for other mothers to steer their little boys towards soccer rather than aussie rules. There is much less chance of our precious little darlings getting hurt playing soccer, and yet it is still a great game.

Unfortunately considering the way the AFL are tinkering with the rules I think that soccer will grow in popularity in Australia whilst aussie rules may become a dinosaur. If the AFL just left the game alone perhaps there would be a chance for it to survive, but they are killing off the aspects of the game that create spectacle and awe for the spectators. This season the overhead contested mark has greatly diminished on the stats sheets. This is a great shame as it alone is one of the true original features that makes this game so popular. The fans want to see the high fliers. And with the clubs tending towards the recruitment of smaller faster men then the game will certainly turn into a game of netball, as has been suggested by many people.

Jeremy played this week. As he was coming back from injury he played in the reserves of his designated team. He was happy to “have a bit of fun” and had 42 touches for the game playing in the midfield. He reports that his ankle feels fine. That is good news. Of course John and I are disappointed to have missed seeing him play yet again.

8. Secret men’s business

2006-06-20T20:56:00.000-07:00

The secret is out. Men’s football business is no secret anymore. There are cameras in the change rooms revealing all to whoever is interested. Interviews are conducted and broadcast live from the inner sanctum. Is nothing sacred anymore?

We were privileged to actually be inside the rooms before the game to see the preparation of the players before an important AFL clash. Jeremy was not playing but as part of the team he was there in his club suit and tie.

It was a bit like watching caged animals at the zoo as we stood behind a wire screen with other parents, girlfriends, club officials, and sponsors. We all stood quietly watching the players come in wearing their shorts and guernseys after their on-ground warmup.

They looked awesome in their raw muscled athletism. They begin to quietly walk around the room stopping now and then to stretch. A trainer talks to them instructing them through a brisk warm up session. It begins slowly. His voice gradually rises in volume and urgency. They pick up the pace. He shouts at them. They bump each other like territorial male animals in the wild. The intensity rises to a crescendo. Suddenly it stops and they walk in to a closed room for a quick last minute word from The Coach. They emerge and march up the race onto the ground and through the banner to the cheers of the hometown crowd.

We sit in the stands with Jeremy and the remaining players and their families and friends. It is a great game. We see the camaraderie of the group as they revel in the antics of their team mates on the ground. Whilst Jeremy is at ease in his new home, we feel like the outsiders that we are.

During the breaks the players near us stand to stretch their long legs. Spectators in the stands look at them probably discussing who is there and what injuries find them spectating rather than playing. I doubt many would know who Jeremy is just yet. They are yet to see him do anything to prove his place with this team.

Jeremy did not play again this weekend due to his injured ankle. He receives further treatment, and does modified training. He is extremely disappointed with another week on the sidelines. We too are disappointed to not see him play, but we would rather his injury heal properly first.

7. Pop quiz

2006-06-13T15:37:00.000-07:00

Pop quiz to becoming a successful AFL coach

QUESTIONS:

1. Which player of similar ability and potential would you pick first? An ostentatious overly confident outspoken attention-seeker? Or a quietly confident humble listener?
2. How do you assess passion?
3. To what extent are coaches proficient in human psychology?
4. How does one stoke the fire in the belly of a player?
5. What really motivates players?
6. Is there a place for the quiet achiever at top level football?
7. What is self belief?
8. How does a club manufacture a really successful team of champions capable of winning a premiership?

ANSWERS:

1. Imagine this scenario: you are the coach about to interview two young hopeful and equally capable potential AFL footballers.

The first young man struts in. He wears the latest sports top and expensive runners with trendy shabby chic denim jeans. His hair is styled in a weird dyed shape that is noticeable from a kilometre away. He boasts about his ability and accomplishments. He tells everyone he is definitely going to play AFL football and it will be a lucky club who gets him.

By stark contrast another young athlete comes in. He is not dressed to attract attention. His hair is its natural colour and cropped short. He is quietly spoken. He listens intently to all that is said. Getting information out of him is like pulling teeth. It is difficult to gauge his desire and ability as he does not show much emotion nor mention his achievements.

So which hopeful young footballer is the better choice to play in an AFL team? There is really not enough information here to answer that. Despite all of the rigorous testing, observing, and analysing done by coaches and recruiters towards choosing AFL players, often it seems to come down to a gut decision about how much an individual appears to want to play AFL. How much desire is there? If these two players of contrasting personalities are of similar ability then the outspoken one will be chosen simply because he is obvious in communicating that desire to everyone.

2. How do the coaches assess that passion?

It is pop psychology. Standard survey type personality tests are given to the players who attend draft camp. One wonders though what these tell the coaches and how much attention is given to these results.

3. How many coaches get educated in human psychology and to what extent?

Psychology plays a huge part in the work of a coach. Beyond trying to assess personality types the club must consider the mental and emotional wellbeing of each individual player. But the coach’s main focus must be on the team. What are the team dynamics? Monitoring behaviour on and off the field is important because this behaviour can aid or harm a club. Motivating your players towards a win would be the main psychological task of all coaches. Is this done on instinct? From past playing experience? Or do the coaches get assistance from academics who may be expert in the study of this specific branch of psychology? And if so, does it work? Interesting things to consider and I have no answers here.

4. How does one stoke the fire in the belly?

The outgoing ostentatious player appears to have that fire so perhaps he is the better choice after all. But how can you tell if it is all for show? And who can say that the quiet player does not have a genuine desire just because he is a cool customer? He may possess integrity, emotional stability, and spiritual strength that can really have a positive affect on a whole team. His influence may be far less obvious and far too subtle for amateur psychologists.

5. What does motivate players?

Now that is a key question isn’t it? If I could answer that then this blog could make me millions.

ANSWER ATTEMPT: what about key personality defects as causes for motivation towards success in football? Such as: small man syndrome; coming from an impoverished childhood; being a bad loser; lack of a father figure in a boys life; Type A personality; walking in the shadow of a famous former footballer father; Attention Deficit Disorder. These neuroses and others like them may be some of the negative factors that keep the fires of motivation burning for many players. But there must be positive motivating factors also. What about the love of the game? The pure joy of extreme physical movement? The primal survivor challenges of trying to outwit, outmark, outlast, and outplay your opponents? How are these factors identified by psychologists, clubs and coaches?

6. So is there a place at this level of football for a sensible emotionally balanced quiet achiever?

Jeremy is that quiet achiever with none of the above-mentioned negative neuroses. He has always worried officials by his lack of an arrogant attitude on and off the field. He does not lose his cool under severe provocation. He appreciates wit and revels in a good sledging competition. He finds it funny. He does not get offended easily. He enjoys “flying in under the radar”. He would rather gain respect from other players and officials over time. He honours and respects the people already doing the jobs at their clubs. He is a humble newcomer to this scene who has a lot to learn and so he watches, listens and absorbs the examples set by the masters of the game. He is not seeking attention so why would he fashion his hair in some highly noticeable style?

He tells me that it is being part of the team that motivates him. The intra-team relationships must provide him with a sense of identity, strength, and serves to help him perform at his best on the ground. He does it for his mates. Good old aussie mateship can’t be underestimated after all.

There are as many personalities on a football field as there are personalities in our community. This diversity is great for the game. There are the brash ostentatious attention-seeking players like Jason Akermanis and the quiet achievers who consistently perform with excellence such as Robert Harvey.

I think coaching staff really need to forget the pop psychology when trying to assess potential AFL players. Let the rigorous scientific testing speak for itself. Give greater credence to each players CV. Talk to past coaching staff to find out a players actual behavioural tendencies.

This week Jeremy was assessed for potential elevation onto the main list. Despite attention given to last week’s excellent playing performance on the field, the question arose about his lack of outward confidence. I suppose it is a fair question to pose, but I think they have all they need to know. Just let him out there for a couple of seasons and there is no doubt in my mind that you will see a real champion emerge. But I am just his biased mother and no one is asking me and that is probably a wise thing. I would choose the quiet achievers, but I am not a psychologist, nor am I a genuine fan, and not the sort of audience the marketing “gurus” are trying to attract.

And I know I didn’t answer all of the questions in this pop quiz. Who can? Maybe the professional psychologists enlisted to help the clubs. One would hope so.

Jeremy is not playing this week because his sprained ankle is not quite healed yet. His injuries have kept him back a bit but he has been told not to worry about that. Hopefully he will be playing next week as John and I have booked our weekend to be there with him.

6. Mr Damage

2006-06-05T16:00:00.000-07:00

“Raaargh!!” sounds the battle cry and suddenly we are ambushed by two young boys as they hurl themselves onto our bed. Saturday morning World Championship Wrestling is about to begin. I quickly escape to prepare breakfast, leaving the three “boys” to have their fun. They love this rough and tumble play. It always ends with one of the boys in tears but they return the following weekend for another bout with their dad.

John has always encouraged our boys in this sort of play. He did it with his brothers when he was a boy. I think he thinks it prepares them to be “men”. He doesn’t want them to grow up to be weak defenseless cowards. Those enjoyable days spent together when our children were small are now over. All three of them have grown into confident, caring and gentle adults.

To John football is just an extension of this kind of alpha-male competition. Putting yourself up against another male in a contest of strength, speed and agility is the ultimate test of male supremacy. A bit primal perhaps but a lot more courageous than taking up weapons. If more males let out their aggression on a football field rather than with guns and bombs we would all live in a more peaceful world.

Aussie rules football is a rough game. Every week players are seriously injured, some needing emergency surgery. Last week we saw Western Bulldogs player Robert Murphy get “fairly” tackled by the massive Magpie Anthony Rocca. Murphy has been playing like a real champion, but now his knee is so badly injured he will not be playing again this season. This weekend Blake Caracella of Collingwood was tackled causing his neck to jolt back awkwardly. He has a fractured vertebra and bruised spine. He is still in hospital.

I hate to see these injuries occur, but it is the very nature of the game. My husband John does not share my concerns at all. But then he is a male who played football. He was a tough competitor specialising in speed and tackling. His team mates called him “Mr. Damage” because he would do damage to their opponents. Late in his football playing days he broke a bone in his hand as a result of an insignificant collision during a game. He was then nicknamed “Mr. Damaged” and his football playing days were over.

Jeremy’s first real match in his new life as a professional footballer resulted in him being hospitalised. He had been playing well until a team mate delivered a “hospital handball” to him. He was consequently tackled, flattened, and knocked unconscious. After placing a brace around his neck, he was carried off the ground on a stretcher and then taken to hospital in an ambulance. There he was x-rayed, scanned, and monitored until given the all-clear to go home.

We heard about this via a phone call from an official of his club. I felt so far away from him. I had these visions about throwing gladiators to the lions. No one in that stadium knew him at all. Who cared as they carried this young man off? I imagined the crowd eagerly calling for another victim. I was being overly dramatic of course.

Too much thought about what might happen on the ground is a curse to the players. They may not venture out there if there was uncertainty or fear in their minds. I try not to convey these thoughts to Jeremy. Mr. Damage does not share these fears, so why should Jeremy.

This weekend Jeremy plays in the firsts of his designated team. He has been named at Centre-Half Back in the newspaper but plays on the forward flank changing onto the ball. We try to pick up the radio broadcast but fail. It is hard going about our daily business knowing he is playing and we don’t know what is happening. His team wins by one point. He kicks three goals and takes some nice marks. He rolls his ankle in the second quarter but plays on anyway. After the game his ankle swells and he gets it x-rayed. It is not broken but badly sprained. He is unsure whether he will play next week. He is named in the newspaper as the leading goal-kicker and one of the best players for the game.

Meanwhile we are invited to join the parents of his AFL team for lunch and to see the game. We meet these parents of longtime AFL footballers gaining a little more insight. “Our” team wins well under perfect blue winter skies. It is encouraging for the new younger players like Jeremy. He is not there of course so I send him SMS messages throughout the game. This rekindles our desire to see Jeremy so we put plans into action to visit him in two weeks time.

5. One day in September

2006-05-29T16:49:00.000-07:00

Picture this: a lone young footballer walks slowly across the centre of the ground. His arms hang loose. You can’t see his face because he is walking away from where you sit in the stands. If you could you would see that he is upset. A popular song plays loudly over the sound system. The words “Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?” by the Foo fighters emphasize his defeat. Scattered across the ground his team mates sit or squat where the final siren found them. Heads in hands, they too feel this defeat heavily. Meanwhile the jubilant victors leap about hugging one another soaking up the glory and applause from the spectators.

This Grand Final was a close low-scoring game that could have gone either way. A real contest between two well matched teams of enthusiastic, athletic young men. Jeremy personally did not have a great match. At one defining moment he was lining up for a set shot for goal. He was about 50 metres out and on an angle. He missed and I later asked him whether he was distracted by the helicopter hovering just above the stadium, or the sight of himself on the big screen directly in his line of sight. He said he had been unaware of these things and he missed the goal because he did not kick the ball straight.

These scenes are etched in my memory because I was privileged to be there as a parent of a player – Jeremy. As I sat there watching him standing alone at the centre of the MCG I could feel his disappointment, but I also felt such enormous pride. He had conducted himself so well as a leader of this team. He had done everything he possibly could in his pursuit towards a career in football. He had helped to bring his team to this game on this important day.

Football is a game and the very nature of it means there are always winners and losers. His team were amazing. There is no disgrace in this loss. Before his team left the ground they assembled at the boundary before their small group of supporters and applauded us. How noble they were in defeat.

This game was not important by comparison to the main events scheduled for the MCG for that one special day in September. It was AFL Grand Final Day and despite the fact that two interstate teams were playing off for the Premiership Cup, the stadium was now full.

The pre-game entertainment began with some sky divers dropping in, expertly pulling up for a walk landing. Various singers performed: Delta Goodrem; the current batch of Australian Idol contestants; Dame Edna; Michael Buble tried to sing through a haze of fireworks smoke and an audience chanting for their teams. Some jets flew by and performed aerobatics. The Cup was delivered by helicopter.

The crowd was ecstatic by this stage. They wanted to see their teams play football. The atmosphere was amazing – words easily written that fail to convey the actual feeling when you are immersed in such an event. The game was close with the lead changing often in the final minutes.

We were emotionally detached from the outcome of the main game and exhausted after two great games of football, the excellent pre-game entertainment, and the excitement of the day. We left and met at the club rooms to commiserate, celebrate, and bid farewell to this group of parents, players and team staff. The players hugged, and drank alcoholic drinks, and hugged some more. We didn’t see Jeremy for three days after that as the commiserating and celebrating continued. We finally breathed a sigh of relief knowing that our involvement and commitment was over. There was just one more event to attend; the Club Presentation Night later that week. Then we are needed no more. Free to get our own lives back. If only I could remember what that was.

Once again Jeremy does not play in a real match this weekend. His league has a break whilst some interstate teams play off. He played in a practice game to gain back some match fitness. He tells us that he had at least ten possessions in the first quarter. He played on the forward flank changing onto the ball. He kicked two goals and reports that he is feeling very fit. Meanwhile his AFL team plays in another State.

We have heard some whispers of changes to his AFL team. Some of the older players are failing to regain their previous form after repeated injuries. Jeremy may get elevated to the main list. He may yet make his AFL debut before the end of this season. I feel excited and worried by this prospect.

This week there was a photo of Jeremy and some other players from his team in a major newspaper of that State. There are six players in the photo. They are at training and are all kneeling, obviously stretching. They all have their heads turned looking at something out of view that is making them all smile broadly. It is a photo that their mothers and fans would appreciate. The caption identified them all but mistook Jeremy for another player who is not in the photo. He is still very much unknown.

Like addicts trying to kick a habit we are craving for football action, so this weekend we go to watch a match locally where many of the players, who were in that special Grand Final team with Jeremy last year, will are playing. But it is not the same. Many of them are out with injuries and Jeremy is not there so our emotional involvement is indifferent. At the first sign of rain we head for home.

4. Draft rollercoaster

2006-05-23T00:20:00.000-07:00

Without hesitation Jeremy willingly jumps onto the AFL Draft Rollercoaster Ride along with about 1700 other hopeful and capable young footballers. They soon all realise that only about 90 of them will come out at the other end successfully.

The ride begins when players are at about the age of 16 years and they find a firm position in an under 18 team that is above the level of local football. The football is excellent. Most of the boys can kick straight. They know a pass will be delivered to their chest. It is almost perfect football; a dream come true.

So it was for Jeremy. Whilst each player will have a slightly different experience of the ride, this is Jeremy’s tale. He trains hard, plays hard; bonds with his team mates, coach and support staff. He makes all the right sacrifices, abstaining from alcohol, fatty foods, and night-before-the-game parties. It’s all good.

He sees the AFL recruiters at every game. They sit alone, watching, assessing, and scribbling notes on their clipboards. They stand out like sore thumbs. They do not cheer the teams or talk to anyone, and stay away from the small audience of supportive parent spectators.

All is going smoothly and then he gets injured. He can pinpoint the moment it happens. It was just one of those things. There is a long road to recovery. Weeks of not playing and modified training. He visits the doctor and the physio. He is often asked how he is going and he easily responds in medical terms. It is frustrating watching his team play while he sits on the sidelines. He itches to get back out there.

Finally he is well enough to get back on the ground. He plays well and is invited to go to the AFL Draft Camp in Canberra. WOW! What a fantastic opportunity! He feels excited and humble and very scared. What will happen there? He knows the AFL selectors and some top coaches will be there. He knows there will be interviews and testing.

They do test and measure everything – well almost. The things AFL clubs want to know about each individual far exceeds anything a single person ever really need to know about themselves. After this Jeremy knows his: skinfolds; flexibility; agility; how high he can jump from standing and from a run-up; how fast he can run 20 meters, and 3 kilometers; his reflex response; the weight he can lift; his greatest number of chin-ups and push-ups; his highest score for the beep test; his height, weight, hand span and shoe size; his gait; how straight and how far he can kick a football; his ball handling skills; his recovery response; his psychological profile.

They interview every player to find out what their interests are and try to judge what sort of person they are. What about the significant qualities that cannot be measured? Can a player handle rejection? How do they distinguish between a real team player (like Jeremy) and someone who is only focused on themselves? And what about personal integrity? How do they rate a good sense of humour? But this is purely a scientific exercise. They offer no encouragement or words of support or advice. Even the interviews are brief, superficial, and fail to touch on the human elements that really shape us.

On return he feels flat. He has no clue how he performed or where he rated. All of his team mates who shared this experience say they feel exactly the same. A week or so later he receives his results in the mail. He can now see how he compares with the others. It’s OK. He isn’t the best, but he is far from the worst. Small encouragement.

He tries to focus on the footy; on the games because that is what it is all about. He loves his team mates so it’s easy to slip back into the training and routine.

There is also school work and exams to consider. He thinks he may still need to consider an alternative career if he doesn’t make it to the AFL. It is so hard to focus on one thing wholeheartedly, working towards that sole outcome with the passion that the AFL clubs require, and still have a Plan B in mind.

Finally the footy finals and school exams are over and it’s Draft Day! He has had some encouraging words from agents and recruiters. He is an outside chance – perhaps. He knows he is not in the top 10. Those players know who they are. His father didn’t play AFL football so there is no side-door option for him that is offered to some players. So fingers crossed.

He huddles around the radio with his parents listening to the selections as the clubs make them. It is a slow agonising process. He listens out for the clubs who have shown interest in him. Numbers and names are rattled off. Team mates are selected and he feels excitement for them. It gets to 70 and it’s all over. No luck. He wonders why they didn’t pick him. Why?

After a day of really feeling the impact of rejection he realises it’s not all bad. He still has another year of the under 18 competition. There is next year. Another year! A whole other year of this emotional and physical roller coaster ride. But what else do footballer’s do except play football?

So after a small break it is all on again. It’s easy because this is what he knows and loves: training; being with the boys; getting out there with a ball; playing together to win.

This year he is in the leadership group. He has had a year of experience now. He knows what to expect, what the marks are, and what to aim for. He has “Draft Camp” status. There is a photo and an article about him in a major newspaper. There are extra expectations on his ability and performance now. He secretly wonders if he can live up to these high expectations. He begins to make mistakes on the field: missing easy goals; misjudging passes; he feels slow. But his team is winning. It looks like the team has a chance to make the final four. He focuses on the team and the premiership. He tries to forget about the draft.

Then he gets selected to play in the state team for the under 18 National Championship. A couple of his team mates are selected also. This is an honour. The training takes him away from his main team and to other venues with other coaches and players that were/are his opponents. His mind has to make some quick readjustments. They are working towards the under 18 premiership also. They are all trying for AFL selection also. Now they discover they all want the National Title as badly as this new coach does.

He finds it difficult to adjust to his position in this team of elite under 18 footballers. They are all great players. The players quickly bond because they are all in the same situation. Jeremy performs well enough within the team making sure he does the job the coach sets for him. His team wins the National Championship. He is elated and proud to be a part of this team. He celebrates with the other players, and then says goodbye to his new best buddies.

Meanwhile his other team has gone on without him. They have lost some and won some. A place in the finals is not a certainty. There is some work to do yet. He returns to the fold and tries to regroup the team.

The team manages to get a finals position and miraculously scrapes through to the Grand Final play off. This is played at the famous MCG on AFL Grand Final Day. What a huge buzz! The game is televised on pay TV. It is a great contest. His team plays well but is beaten by the team who held number one position for most of the season. His team had beaten them once and this other team was not going to let that happen again.

Jeremy is so upset at the final siren that he actually cries. It is such a huge disappointment to him. It feels so bad to lose this game. This is the last game he will play with this particular group of players that he has come to count as his best mates. He has to move on. The whereabouts of that is still yet to be known.

Another AFL draft looms. He feels his chances are no better than last year. In fact he has had less interest shown from AFL clubs. He gets positive encouragement from some agents, recruiters and of course from his team support staff. He is invited to attend a state AFL draft screening and performs well enough. No worse than last year.

On AFL Draft day he sits close to the radio listening to the selections. The top 10 is predictable. He knows all of these players now as team mates and he knows how good they are. The father/son players are known and chosen. Some of his team mates get chosen with some surprises. Not him. He is overlooked again. He wonders what more he can possibly do? What will he do now? He is surprised that the rejection does not hurt quite as much as it did last year. But he is still shattered. It seems unfair. He has done everything. He knows his performance on the field was not his best. He knows he is as good as many of the players that were selected. He is crushed. For a little while anyway. Then it’s back to training with a local VFL club. What else can he do? The bonus of this is that many of his other team mates are there training alongside him, so it is an easy transition.

He receives phone calls of shared dismay and kind encouragement from people who know him and know football. There is disbelief. They tell him to hang in there, to not give up and stay focused.

Two weeks later the rookie draft comes up. This hardly excites him but it is his last chance for this year. He gets selected early by an interstate team. He is in! He is an AFL player with a team and a number.

So he has two days to pack his bags. He gets on a plane and leaves to go to a place where he has never been before and where he knows absolutely no one. He will have no emotional support base that is familiar to him. He leaves all of his friends, family, team mates, and everyone he has ever known in the world. He is still only 18 years old and he has a great deal of work ahead and one season to prove himself to these strangers.

The team Jeremy plays for has a bye this weekend so he is not playing even though he is raring to go. He is back doing full training sessions which this week included a session of surfing. He will go along as part of his AFL team to watch them play at home. They will need to play 100% better than they did last weekend. Unfortunately they lose again and even though Jeremy did not play he too is punished during the next grueling training session.

3. Not a fan

2006-05-15T15:45:00.000-07:00

I am not a genuine fan of football. Not aussie rules, nor rugby, soccer, or any other game that lays claim to the word “football”. I am involved by default.

Being born and raised in Victoria Australia ensures I have an inherent knowledge of aussie rules football as “The Main Game” in town. For me aussie rules is football. All other codes require validation in normal conversation, but then I am from the generation from before the game went national.

Being an active girl I played netball, tennis, and competition swimming. Swimming was my main activity. I loved it with a passion. My sister, brother and I competed all the year around Melbourne and suburbs. Our parent’s involvement ensured this activity continued for us for many years. It kept us occupied and out of trouble throughout our teenage years. A responsible approach to parenting teenagers I later realised.

My father was not and still is not a football fan. Despite this my brother played the game, almost making AFL selection. Whilst my after-school activities were very active, at school I admit to being a nerd. I loved maths, physics, speaking French, and playing the piano. My preferred culture was not the popular culture associated with aussie rules. I was not a snob. I just had different preferences and football did not even appear on my list.

It wasn’t until I met my husband that my involvement in football began. He played for the local team and every Saturday my sister and I had to walk past the oval to get to netball. We were wearing our netball skirts of course and attracted the wanted and unwanted attention of the males gathered at the football – as only teenage girls can do.

Eventually I found myself regularly watching John play local football. It was a muddy, crude and aggressive environment unconducive to developing skills. He was quite a good player specialising in tackling. He eventually gave it away, turning his back on the heavy drinking commitment required at that level of football. We began a family and moved away.

Our youngest son Jeremy showed keen interest and natural ability with a football by about the age of three. Any chance to be outside with a ball; he was there. By the time he was six we couldn’t keep him off a footy field. His older brother was playing in a local team of under-10’s. Jeremy joined in. He played in that under-10 team for four years!

As a mother you want your children to do the things they love. I get profound enjoyment watching my children enjoy themselves. But it is also a source of extreme worry if these activities are slightly dangerous to their health and wellbeing. So watching Jeremy play football has always been with a mixture of pleasure, pride and worry. I am certain all footballers’ mothers would tell you of this internal dilemma. For the last 13 years I have watched Jeremy play football and I have felt this duality of emotion during every game.

But I am not a fan. I did not support an AFL team as a child or teenager. Since Jeremy started playing I have always wholeheartedly supported the team he was currently playing with. Ironically, now I do have an AFL team to “barrack for”.

I am surprised how football has changed my life. I am a convert to the game. I love it now. I appreciate the physical contest between athletic men. I am enthralled by the passion and the atmosphere at games. I am bewildered by the sudden change of flow that can and does often occur during matches. This inexplicable change of momentum often bringing unexpected results.

Jeremy played football this weekend having a run in the reserves. A guard was placed on his injured leg. He played in the mid field getting over 25 touches but he said his kicking was not good. The guard eventually caused his hamstring to cramp and he was moved into the forward line. His team won by over six goals. He hopes to get a spot back in the firsts next week.

Meanwhile his AFL team was convincingly beaten at home by a better side. Jeremy helped out by modelling clothes in a fashion parade for Mother’s Day. Now that is something I am definitely sorry to have missed. He will post some photos on Flickr for me to see.

2. No “I” in Jeremy

2006-05-08T15:52:00.000-07:00

There is no “I” in Jeremy. He has always been the proverbial team player. He is humble. Even at an early age we noticed these tendencies. As he became better at the game he would encourage other young players by drawing them into the game with hand passes and encouragement. This came naturally to him. He never hogged the ball, often to the detriment of his own statistical game.

Not only is he well liked by his own team mates but opposition players like him too. He is fair and competitive. There is no ill-will in him. As he progressed up into teams of higher standards of play he would already know many of the other players who would already count him as their mate. He is a very likable person.

The year he kicked over one hundred goals for the season was in fact a team effort. Sure his goal kicking was on track, but once his team mates realised that the hundred score was in reach, they unselfishly fed the passes in to him.

I remember one day when Jeremy was heading in towards the goals and was within easy goal kicking distance. There was an opposition player and a team mate between him and the goals, so Jeremy hand-balled to his team mate over the head of the opponent. In the goal square the team mate then hand-balled back to Jeremy so that he could kick the easy goal and add to his score towards the tonne. This is typical of the kind of loyalty and bonds that he forges without effort.

There is no game for Jeremy this week though. During the week the doctor inserted a needle into his leg to withdraw the liquid from within the injury on his thigh. His training has consisted of a lot of swimming, weights and hand ball skills. He went along as a member of his AFL team dressed in his club suit and tie. This is a great learning opportunity for a young footballer. Being with the team in the room before and after the game prepares and motivates him for his time to come.

So for a footballer’s mother this means a respite. I don’t need to face the difficulty of trying to hear his game on the radio, and I can be free from the stress of worry. I can visit a local art show, watch some movies, and indulge in enjoyable exercise for myself such as road cycling and running events with a local athletics group.

1. Out injured

2006-04-30T16:55:00.000-07:00

I should have begun this journal two years ago as so much has happened since then.

I wanted to begin at a moment of climax. Beginning at the end of my youngest son’s junior football days when he captained his local team to a premiership; he was awarded the medal for Best on Ground for the Grand Final game; he was the highest goal kicker for the league for that season kicking over one hundred goals; and he won the Best and Fairest trophy for his local junior club. This is not fiction.

Two years have passed since then. His involvement with the States under 18 competition provided him, and my husband and I, with much enjoyment and broadened our horizons considerably. He represented our state in the National under 18 championship. He captained his under 18 team to a grand final, playing on the famous MCG on AFL grand final day. Finally he was awarded the Best and Fairest trophy for his under 18 club.

Not a bad resume. You would think it was enough to get him drafted. He was overlooked, eventually being picked late by an interstate AFL club. He is yet to play an AFL game but hopefully his time will come. In a future entry I will describe the rollercoaster of emotions we experienced on the fickle draft ride.

So what does all of this mean for me? My husband and I have supported him with his love of aussie rules football since he could first kick a footy at the age of three. We have taken him to games all over the state since then, watching him play, helping out with the clubs in whatever way we could, standing in the cold and rain, waiting for him to finish with his team commitments. We have attended boring fund-raising events and long-winded presentation nights. We have been a loyal, privileged and captive audience. I am sure all parents would say the same thing.

At the time of writing this first entry he is “out injured”. He has a “cork thigh”, which is a common injury for footballers. Today he had a scan and an x-ray. The result of which means he has been instructed not to play for the next four weeks. He will continue to receive the relevant treatment from the staff at the club and continue his remedial training program of swimming and probably some weights.

My husband and I are planning our next trip interstate to visit him and watch him play. We look forward to and thoroughly enjoy these little sojourns to this part of Australia that is unfamiliar to us. It is strange for us not watching him play after all of these years. We try to pick up the interstate broadcast on the radio but the reception fades in and out making it difficult to hear the whole game and not really getting any idea about our son’s personal performance.

Last week he was matched up on a guy they nicknamed “Tarzan”. This is not what any mother wants to hear. Combine this with the poor radio reception and perhaps you can understand that I worry. This year is the first time that I have worried about him on a football field. He has always managed to hold his own quite well against boys of his own age. Now he is in the big time playing with men who are older, bigger, heavier, and more experienced than he. As a footballer’s mother I worry for his welfare. I am sure many parents would say the same thing.

I will try not to identify him or anyone else in this blog because the aim here is to provide a glimpse of this lifestyle and it is not really important who we are. I will refer to my son as “Jeremy” and my husband I will call “John”. I realise how details and specifics can enrich a story, but I will err on the side of being vague if I think that divulging too much information will reveal our identities. Not that we are well known at all. But who knows what the future may bring. I have to be mindful because I am not only writing about my life but also Jeremy’s, John’s and the many other people involved, some of who may well indeed be well known to the public.

This is a typical story of a footballer’s mother. It is not unique and probably more of a cliché. As I continue to write in this journal I will backtrack occasionally in order to illustrate this journey with relevant information and context. Since “Jeremy” is out injured perhaps the next few weeks is a perfect opportunity for this.